Vienna

So part of the reason I'm so far behind in this blog is that every time I go to update, I realize I have to finish two weeks worth of back entries before I can get to what happen most recently. The thing is though, I can actually do whatever I want (my mom says so), so I'm just going to write about the past 24 hours, then I'll go backward in reverse chronological order and fill in the rest as I find time. Is that going to be okay Armand? Please let me know you impatient fook.

Okay, so I got to Vienna on Friday and checked into my hostel around Idunno o'clock in the evening. First things first, this hostel sucks. Not in the bedbugs and no-place-to-lock-up-your-stuff sense, but more in the sense that it's painted rainbow colors like a fun-house and there are a thousand party-hardies staying here. There's always a line for the front desk, no one knows anyone else, and every night the bar looks like a frat house. Which I think I would be fine with if I either came here with someone (it's easier to meet people in that environment when you have somewhere to start) or if it were in a different city, like Amsterdam. But Vienna is more of an intellectual, spiritual place so this hostel does not suit me very well.

Anyway, the first experience I had here was that when I reached out my hand to open the door to my locker, it fell off. The door I mean. Which was not exactly what I was hoping would happen. So I waited in line at the front desk, told the nice girl there what had happened, and asked for a new locker key. She said she couldn't help me because my room was full and that was the locker that had been assigned to me. I replied that the bed above mine was not taken so evidently at least one person had not checked in yet--thus, there must be an empty locker. It seems to me, I told her, that if there is only one working locker in the hostel it should go to me rather than the bloke who hasn't checked in yet because...um, he hasn't checked in yet. Either my reasoning convinced her or she was intimidated by my size, because she gave me a new key. I then ate some weinershnitzel and went to bed.

Yesterday was by far my most expensive day on this trip. I spent a whopping *** Euros (it's a number with such an obscene number of digits that this site actually censors it out as an obscenity). Luckily, I spent the last week in a very cheap city, so it doesn't look like I'm going to be too set back by this.

I started out the day with my now-typical routine of grabbing breakfast at the hostel right as it's closing so I don't get charged for it ("We're closed." "Well since you're going to throw this weinershnitzel out anyway, can I just grab it and eat it on the go? It'll be like neither the weinershnitzel nor I was ever here.") and then taking public transport to the center of town and walking around for about two hours taking in the feel of the city. The scenery in Vienna is somewhat similar to Prague but Vienna has a sort of self-awareness about its epic character that Prague doesn't have to the same extent; it's like Prague is Vienna's humbler twin.

After doing my walking tour I headed straight for the Mozart museum where I blew 12 euros on a combination ticket for the Mozart house and the "music house," another museum in a different part of town that I assumed would be up my alley. The Mozart house was interesting but generally pretty disappointing. Despite the way it was advertised, the museum had almost nothing authentic in it: none of the original furniture or instruments survive, and the museum contains no original manuscripts or letters written by The Man himself. The exhibit consisted almost entirely of photocopies of letters, billboards, and paintings related to the composer. Even the authentic-looking letter they had with Mozart's signature were all tagged with labels that said where the original could be found (most of them pointing the Vienna National Library). The only part of the exhibit that was really interesting was the apartment itself which, as the audio guide pointed out, does not contain any of the original furnishings but has the original interior, size, and views from the windows. The last part ended up being what I liked the most: I could look out the window from Mozart's study and see the exact view he would have seen as he was writing Figaro. His bedroom also had the original wall decorations (a marble design created by a previous occupant) which was also cool to me because I knew that Mozart looked up at that decorated ceiling as he went to sleep each night.

After the Mozart museum, I headed for the central palace where I stumbled upon some sort of military demonstration. There were dozens of tanks all over the inner courtyard and there were hundreds of little kids waiting in line to sit inside them. Good stuff. I headed for the national library to see if I could check out some actual Mozart manuscripts and was dismayed to find out that they are currently not on display due to another (apparently more important) exhibition going on inside the library. This did not make me very happy so I found a really good looking seafood place and blew another 12 euros on lunch. (At this point, I believe I'm still under my daily quota).

After lunch, I got tickets to see the Requiem played that evening at Karl's Church for a whopping 26 euros--a very steep price but I believed this was something worth blowing money on. I then went to the "music house" museum so I could be sure that I had gotten my money's worth with the combination ticket (the verdict: "um...sure") and then headed home to freshen up before the concert. Which is a fancy way of saying "check my email and put on something that isn't a t-shirt".

The concert was really nice. I adore the Requiem and it was amazing to hear it played in such a beautiful church. One of the things that most struck me about the experience was how eerily cool it sounded when each movement ended and the echo from the last note took about 4 seconds to dissipate. I won't try to tie that to any sort of metaphor but let's just say that hearing something like that in the city where Mozart died while completing the piece was poetic.

After the concert got out I wandered around town for awhile to see what it looks like on a Saturday night. Like in Prague, Vienna's building are lit dramatically from the bottom at night, so all the old buildings have an otherworldly glow. I started to head towards what my map showed as a neighborhood with lots of bars and clubs, and I ended up stuck between the Museum Quartier and the twin palaces with no easy way to get around either. I saw an opening in the museum's entrance that looked to me like a thru-passage, so I headed for it. At the end of the passage I found myself in a vast courtyard surrounded by museums (hence the name). One of the walls in the courtyard had--and I'm not making this up, as you will see when I post pictures--images of gigantic scuttling mice being projected on it from about 50 feet up. It was damn creepy. To make things even stranger, I kept seeing really strangely dressed people everywhere, like I on the set of A Clockwork Orange. I went for a passage on the other end of the courtyard that looked like it might bring me out the other side, but it ended up winding around and dropping me in an alleyway, where I could see all the Clockwork Orange people being let into some kind of party. On the other side of the entryway to the party was another alleyway leading off into nowhere, and there were glowing panes on each side of it that were lit up and down the alleyway in a sequential pattern. I pulled out my camera to videotape it, and just as I did, some little kid took off full speed and ran down the alleyway, racing the lights. It ended up being a sweet video and I will post it soon.

Anyway, I decided since I had stumbled on this freak party that I should check it out. I asked the bouncer what I needed to do to get in and he said (1) I was under-dressed and (2) there was a 10 euro cover charge. I asked if I could check it out before I decided and he let me into the entryway. There were two goofily dressed girls taking money from people and as soon as I walked in, one of them ruffled my hair and said "nice curly wig" and the other told me she would need to put mascara on me or I couldn't be let in. When I went wide-eyed, the second girl smiled and said (and here's the punchline...) "Austin Powers party." Needless to say, I now realized why everyone was dressed so strangely. Apparently, someone who works for the museum had just decided to throw a party there and everyone had heard about through word of mouth. Realizing it would be stupid of me to forgo this party when I had stumbled on it so serendipitously, I bit the bullet, paid the cover charge, told Chick #1 that my hair was not a wig, and let Chick #2 put mascara on me (she didn't put enough that anyone noticed).

I began my party experience by getting a drink--always a good idea. Then I moved on to my now-typical routine for being in a new party atmosphere and not knowing a soul: I took a few laps around to survey the place and listen for any English-speakers. The crowd seemed fun-loving and not too pretentious--everyone was laughing and no one was taking the dancing too seriously. Austin Powers with German subtitles was playing on a giant projector screen and a DJ was spinning on a makeshift stage at the back of the room. Also, no one was speaking English--this was an entirely local crowd, which when you're a lone outsider can either mean it's very easy to talk to people or damn near impossible (it depends on the cliqueyness factor). Luckily, this crowd was both drunk and friendly so I didn't have too much trouble, particularly after one girl lended me her goofy glasses--evidently it's more appealing to talk to someone when they're wearing goof glasses.

Anyway, long story short, I ended up having a blast and spending...um...yeah...buying drinks for people doesn't make you any richer apparently. I left at about 2 in the morning and realized that the subways were closed...boo... So I was forced to brave the Vienna bus system and got home an hour and half later. Either the bus system is WAY too complicated or I'm just stupid. Let me just throw out there that each bus stop (I ended up waiting at 4 different ones in the blistering cold) has at least 6 buses that make stops there. Which is totally fine, as long as the information about ALL 6 bus routes can be found in ONE PLACE. But no...SOMEONE decided it made more sense to have 6 different signposts for 6 different bus routes and to place them about 40 FEET APART. That way, when bus 42C arrives at the station and I'm standing next to the sign for bus 68J I have to run like hell to the 42C sign to check and see if that bus is going to my stop. Then, when the bus driver sees me running and waits for me (God bless him) and after reading the 42C sign I realize that bus does NOT go to my street, I have to embarrass myself in front of a bunch of Austrians and tell the bus driver that he waited for me in vain. Meanwhile, bus 68J has pulled up 120 feet behind me and I'm not going to be able to get back to the 68J sign in time to discover that the 68J bus DOES go to my street before the 68J bus is long-gone. Now I can either wait for the 68J bus to come back again (and that's 30 minutes I can never get back) or I can start checking the other signs to see if any other bus goes to my street and risk having the same thing happen again. The moral of the story: if your archduke gets assassinated while visiting Serbia and your respective allies Germany and France are itching to go to war with each other, don't allow yourself to become "entrenched" in the middle of a bitter nationalistic standoff--just let the whole thing slide. Get it, enTRENCHed?

So that's Vienna. Side note: it's incredible how often the word "wiener" can be found in the buildings, shops, and magazines of this great city.

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